Hi friends! So I am wishing I had more time to write! I have been so busy (and sick) so when I've had a moment to write I sleep instead. So sorry, don't forget about me. I'm still so new to the blogging world that I could see how easy that would be. But I love getting your emails, comments, texts about you reading. It's like a gift to me each time. ( words of affirmation is my top love language). Do you know your love language(s)? There is a great book and an assessment you can take that will tell you. What are yours? What are your spouses? Your best friends? Your moms? Find out and then use it consistently, see if you notice a difference in your relationship and then tell me! I love hearing about that kind of stuff!
I will do a better post soon, right now it's close to midnight, I'm dizzy and sniffling and its so hard to keep my eyes open so off I go to bed ( probably the latest all week)
Be back soon with something much better than this! (am I setting the bar too high on that?!)
Lol
Thanks so much for reading!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Shower Blunders
Hi there! It's been a while. So sorry. I have missed writing for the last 2 weeks but I have been so busy that I just couldn't fit it in.
Yesterday I helped throw a baby shower at my house. It was so much fun! The prep was intense and time consuming but what a fun creative outlet and a time filled with prayer and celebration for the mommy-to-be (my sister in law) and my newest nephew. Like I said it was time consuming and I'll tell you why. We are living like no one else right now with our extreme budgeting. We say no to a lot of things, we make a lot of things, and we do a lot of things cheaply. That being said, creating a shower for someone is not an easy task. Especially when you are someone who not only wants to make everything herself but also HAS to make everything! If I want it, and I want it to stay in my budget I need to make it. Which gave me a lot of late nights one of them being a night before the shower all nighter with my sister. I didn't even realize I had been up all night until I heard my daughter wake up and my sister
asked if this was her wake up time! Oh my goodness I could not believe it. And I wasn't even done. It all came together though, and was beautiful and special...except for the games part. I was in charge or games until i realized how much was on my plate and spoke to my sister (shower planning teammate) and we said we'd do simpler games that weren't so "gamey" well we never really nailed anything down and as the shower began I realized how quickly it would fly by if there were no actual games. Ahhhhhh! I freaked out and started searching for easy shower games on my iPad but didn't come up with much. I started sweating as I noticed the conversations dying down in anticipation for the next shower activity. Ahhhh, I searched more. I quickly stumbled upon a "name that lullaby" game and thought i'd gather paper, some pens and Id throw one of the kids CDs in a player and it would be a great game. Only I couldn't find any pens. I frantically left the party, ran into the house (the party was poolside)searched my
home and came up with 1 leaking pen, two barely working pens, and about 6 permanent markers. WHAT?! I also found about 12 pencils that would have been perfect but I found no sharpener for these brand spankin new pencils and just simply didn't have enough time to chisel each down with a knife. So on I went to hand over these questionable and obviously unplanned "pens" and markers (oh goodness how embarrassing). I am forgetting to mention here that my husband had taken the car which most of the kids CDs is in, so I grabbed one from there room that I used to play for my oldest when he would go to bed. I told the guests the rules. "we will listen to 5 songs and you need to guess what the title is to each, the person with the most correct wins!" (I began sweating here even more because I realized I didn't even know what songs were on there) Ahhhh! So the first song plays and I get the most questionable looks from the guests. Oh no, this is not going well. Then the music stops, chaos starts with the guests not knowing and needing more time, we smooth it out and move to the next song, chaos again, smooth
it out, move to the next song. With each move to the next song the tension builds and the songs get less and less familiar. Even to me. Oh man my blood pressure must have sky rocketed. It's just a game, sure, but when you love event planning and you're main goal is to make people feel special and thought about and fussed over and you fall short it's not a happy feeling. So on we struggled with this game and (rightly) dis-satisfied guests until a glimmer of hope when one of my sisters leans over and says "I have a lullaby app on my phone and they are all really familiar." ok what? Wait a minute you have a solution to this sweat inducing, panic filled problem and you're just now sharing it with me! Get up woman! Get up and save us from this drowning of unfamiliar lullabies and angry shower guests. (I'm making it sound worse then it probably was but to me I am still not doing the horror of it justice.) she played the music using the app she had and although it was quiet she saved the day and the game was played. Someone won (my mom- is that even fair?) and we all moved on. To the next game I
created in my head and although my "make-up-a-nursery-rhyme-about-the-mommy-baby-and-daddy" game did turn out some surprisingly amazing rhymes and poems, some people didn't even want to play. (insert sound of my shamed crying.)
All in all it was a few moments that didn't last too long and I learned a lot from. Never pull
an all nighter after your 20s. And always have a pencil sharpener handy.
Check out a few pics from the shower in our vlog on youtube here:
OUR DEBT FREE JOURNEY VLOG
Yesterday I helped throw a baby shower at my house. It was so much fun! The prep was intense and time consuming but what a fun creative outlet and a time filled with prayer and celebration for the mommy-to-be (my sister in law) and my newest nephew. Like I said it was time consuming and I'll tell you why. We are living like no one else right now with our extreme budgeting. We say no to a lot of things, we make a lot of things, and we do a lot of things cheaply. That being said, creating a shower for someone is not an easy task. Especially when you are someone who not only wants to make everything herself but also HAS to make everything! If I want it, and I want it to stay in my budget I need to make it. Which gave me a lot of late nights one of them being a night before the shower all nighter with my sister. I didn't even realize I had been up all night until I heard my daughter wake up and my sister
asked if this was her wake up time! Oh my goodness I could not believe it. And I wasn't even done. It all came together though, and was beautiful and special...except for the games part. I was in charge or games until i realized how much was on my plate and spoke to my sister (shower planning teammate) and we said we'd do simpler games that weren't so "gamey" well we never really nailed anything down and as the shower began I realized how quickly it would fly by if there were no actual games. Ahhhhhh! I freaked out and started searching for easy shower games on my iPad but didn't come up with much. I started sweating as I noticed the conversations dying down in anticipation for the next shower activity. Ahhhh, I searched more. I quickly stumbled upon a "name that lullaby" game and thought i'd gather paper, some pens and Id throw one of the kids CDs in a player and it would be a great game. Only I couldn't find any pens. I frantically left the party, ran into the house (the party was poolside)searched my
home and came up with 1 leaking pen, two barely working pens, and about 6 permanent markers. WHAT?! I also found about 12 pencils that would have been perfect but I found no sharpener for these brand spankin new pencils and just simply didn't have enough time to chisel each down with a knife. So on I went to hand over these questionable and obviously unplanned "pens" and markers (oh goodness how embarrassing). I am forgetting to mention here that my husband had taken the car which most of the kids CDs is in, so I grabbed one from there room that I used to play for my oldest when he would go to bed. I told the guests the rules. "we will listen to 5 songs and you need to guess what the title is to each, the person with the most correct wins!" (I began sweating here even more because I realized I didn't even know what songs were on there) Ahhhh! So the first song plays and I get the most questionable looks from the guests. Oh no, this is not going well. Then the music stops, chaos starts with the guests not knowing and needing more time, we smooth it out and move to the next song, chaos again, smooth
it out, move to the next song. With each move to the next song the tension builds and the songs get less and less familiar. Even to me. Oh man my blood pressure must have sky rocketed. It's just a game, sure, but when you love event planning and you're main goal is to make people feel special and thought about and fussed over and you fall short it's not a happy feeling. So on we struggled with this game and (rightly) dis-satisfied guests until a glimmer of hope when one of my sisters leans over and says "I have a lullaby app on my phone and they are all really familiar." ok what? Wait a minute you have a solution to this sweat inducing, panic filled problem and you're just now sharing it with me! Get up woman! Get up and save us from this drowning of unfamiliar lullabies and angry shower guests. (I'm making it sound worse then it probably was but to me I am still not doing the horror of it justice.) she played the music using the app she had and although it was quiet she saved the day and the game was played. Someone won (my mom- is that even fair?) and we all moved on. To the next game I
created in my head and although my "make-up-a-nursery-rhyme-about-the-mommy-baby-and-daddy" game did turn out some surprisingly amazing rhymes and poems, some people didn't even want to play. (insert sound of my shamed crying.)
All in all it was a few moments that didn't last too long and I learned a lot from. Never pull
an all nighter after your 20s. And always have a pencil sharpener handy.
Check out a few pics from the shower in our vlog on youtube here:
OUR DEBT FREE JOURNEY VLOG
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Co-Piloting
"There's nothing like a child who believes in himself. Release them. Allow them to be who they are and be beside them as a co-pilot"- Jan Morrison (paraphrased be me)
The instructor put the marker out in front so the woman could grab it. She informed her that the marker was- for this exercise- her power. When the woman went to grab it the instructor pulled it away fast and said "oh we just don't have time today, I'll just do it." she then put the marker out again for her to grab, but pulled away fast as the woman reached for it, saying "no, no, no, you're gonna spill it." the instructor did this several times using different statements every time while pulling the marker or "power" back away from the participant. Then the instructor went and got several markers and, going to the same participant, put the marker out for her to grab again and said "we've got time, give it a try, I'll be right here if you need me." And handed her the marker. With the next marker, "it's okay if you make a mess, we can clean it up together.". And the next marker, "You do a great job trying, you don't give up!". The instructor continued until the last maker was a taken by the participant.
This exercise was done in my Positive Discipline class and it was amazing to feel the energy in the room change as the exercise went from the first part to the second. I myself was actually in tears because my heart ached for the child. For all of the children who have had this happen to them. And because even though I work really hard to maintain a positive and respectful atmosphere in my home I am completely guilty of doing this to my children.
Caleb loves to help me make food. I don't enjoy spending time in the kitchen, especially when something better is just on the horizon such as sitting and enjoying the food and having a great conversation at the table with my kids. I like to hurry and get the food made so I can enjoy them. So when Caleb comes and asks me if he can help when it's been a long day and I just want to sit and chat I am guilty of saying "I just want to get this done fast..." I can imagine that he could gather from that that I'm saying he will do it slowly or not good enough. That I don't trust him. That he may not be worth the moment it would take to allow him to do it. And the funny thing is in those moments I miss out on what could be really special time with him. Yes, I have to say it's tough with two because there's another little life usually begging for her food to be served so the pressure cooker is on and it definitely heats things up a bit for me but I know there is always some way to allow his involvement. I bet if in those moments I invited him to help before he even asks that it could go even smoother.
I adore being a mother. I think it is a huge blessing to be entrusted with another life or in my case lives. I feel alive when I'm able to give my full attention to my kids in ways that allow them to try, to make mistakes, to laugh, to explore, to fall and pick them selves back up. To learn how they were created, and what they were created for. To watch this, to be playing a part in this, brings me a special joy that nothing else could give me. While I am passionate about so many things and I know I was created to do many things, this is the season I am in right now and I fully embrace it and know I was created for this as well. I am blessed to have this feeling cause I know a lot of moms who honestly, and transparently say they do not share this feeling. I do know that regardless of what we may be feeling about this season of motherhood (or fatherhood) we are in, we can grow our children in ways that will prepare them for the many situations they will encounter in life.
We can do it along side them, not above them.
We can do it with them, not for them.
We can do it respectfully not painfully.
What a privilege. As family we are a team. Is the game hard sometimes? Yes. Is it frustrating? Yes. Exhausting, time consuming, upsetting? Yes. Is it worth it to remain a team and work together! YES! The Positive Discipline website has so many great resources (of which I could spend so much money... I'm telling you when I'm allowed near Borders or Amazon or other similar stores hours will seem like mere seconds to me. I eat it up! If I'm being really honest (and this is kind of embarrassing so don't make fun of me) but when I was in college (for performing- this is important to know because it didn't require a lot of books) I didn't have a lot of books in my apartment. Nor did I have the Internet. What I did have was the full encyclopedia set my mom had bought when I was in forth grade. So I would kick back, and relax with one of those giant babies resting on my tummy and read away!
- can anyone say volcano? Rofl
I digress. Being a mommy is amazing, or can be amazing. So whether you love it or struggle with it here are just a few of my favorite books about being a parent (if you're interested) and have helped my journey be more fulfilling, more fun, and more relaxing:
Positive Discipline (lots of different editions),
The Power of a Positive Mom,
A Woman After God's Own Heart,
101 Things You Should Do With Your Child Before They Leave Home
(I'm not an English major so forgive the countless grammatical errors you see and will continue to see. If I fixed everything I wouldn't get anything done! (work with your kids and help them get to and stay in college, lol...I'm being serious) lol
If I don't get around to another blog before Sunday, have a Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's reading this! You are all uniquely gifted and created to be your child or children's mommy and you are doing a great job! (well... probably, I mean...I don't really know who I'm talking to so I want to be honest lol)
Thanks again for reading!
The instructor put the marker out in front so the woman could grab it. She informed her that the marker was- for this exercise- her power. When the woman went to grab it the instructor pulled it away fast and said "oh we just don't have time today, I'll just do it." she then put the marker out again for her to grab, but pulled away fast as the woman reached for it, saying "no, no, no, you're gonna spill it." the instructor did this several times using different statements every time while pulling the marker or "power" back away from the participant. Then the instructor went and got several markers and, going to the same participant, put the marker out for her to grab again and said "we've got time, give it a try, I'll be right here if you need me." And handed her the marker. With the next marker, "it's okay if you make a mess, we can clean it up together.". And the next marker, "You do a great job trying, you don't give up!". The instructor continued until the last maker was a taken by the participant.
This exercise was done in my Positive Discipline class and it was amazing to feel the energy in the room change as the exercise went from the first part to the second. I myself was actually in tears because my heart ached for the child. For all of the children who have had this happen to them. And because even though I work really hard to maintain a positive and respectful atmosphere in my home I am completely guilty of doing this to my children.
Caleb loves to help me make food. I don't enjoy spending time in the kitchen, especially when something better is just on the horizon such as sitting and enjoying the food and having a great conversation at the table with my kids. I like to hurry and get the food made so I can enjoy them. So when Caleb comes and asks me if he can help when it's been a long day and I just want to sit and chat I am guilty of saying "I just want to get this done fast..." I can imagine that he could gather from that that I'm saying he will do it slowly or not good enough. That I don't trust him. That he may not be worth the moment it would take to allow him to do it. And the funny thing is in those moments I miss out on what could be really special time with him. Yes, I have to say it's tough with two because there's another little life usually begging for her food to be served so the pressure cooker is on and it definitely heats things up a bit for me but I know there is always some way to allow his involvement. I bet if in those moments I invited him to help before he even asks that it could go even smoother.
I adore being a mother. I think it is a huge blessing to be entrusted with another life or in my case lives. I feel alive when I'm able to give my full attention to my kids in ways that allow them to try, to make mistakes, to laugh, to explore, to fall and pick them selves back up. To learn how they were created, and what they were created for. To watch this, to be playing a part in this, brings me a special joy that nothing else could give me. While I am passionate about so many things and I know I was created to do many things, this is the season I am in right now and I fully embrace it and know I was created for this as well. I am blessed to have this feeling cause I know a lot of moms who honestly, and transparently say they do not share this feeling. I do know that regardless of what we may be feeling about this season of motherhood (or fatherhood) we are in, we can grow our children in ways that will prepare them for the many situations they will encounter in life.
We can do it along side them, not above them.
We can do it with them, not for them.
We can do it respectfully not painfully.
What a privilege. As family we are a team. Is the game hard sometimes? Yes. Is it frustrating? Yes. Exhausting, time consuming, upsetting? Yes. Is it worth it to remain a team and work together! YES! The Positive Discipline website has so many great resources (of which I could spend so much money... I'm telling you when I'm allowed near Borders or Amazon or other similar stores hours will seem like mere seconds to me. I eat it up! If I'm being really honest (and this is kind of embarrassing so don't make fun of me) but when I was in college (for performing- this is important to know because it didn't require a lot of books) I didn't have a lot of books in my apartment. Nor did I have the Internet. What I did have was the full encyclopedia set my mom had bought when I was in forth grade. So I would kick back, and relax with one of those giant babies resting on my tummy and read away!
- can anyone say volcano? Rofl
I digress. Being a mommy is amazing, or can be amazing. So whether you love it or struggle with it here are just a few of my favorite books about being a parent (if you're interested) and have helped my journey be more fulfilling, more fun, and more relaxing:
Positive Discipline (lots of different editions),
The Power of a Positive Mom,
A Woman After God's Own Heart,
101 Things You Should Do With Your Child Before They Leave Home
(I'm not an English major so forgive the countless grammatical errors you see and will continue to see. If I fixed everything I wouldn't get anything done! (work with your kids and help them get to and stay in college, lol...I'm being serious) lol
If I don't get around to another blog before Sunday, have a Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's reading this! You are all uniquely gifted and created to be your child or children's mommy and you are doing a great job! (well... probably, I mean...I don't really know who I'm talking to so I want to be honest lol)
Thanks again for reading!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Celebrate
Ok so I can't write without mentioning the recent breaking news (about 1 hour old as of this writing) of Osama bin Laden. It's hard for me to express my feelings about this cause I'll keep it short. Disbelief, oddly sad, uncertainty, unsafe, relief, scared. So many things that I have no control over so to the best of my ability I will move on to other happier lighter subjects because dwelling on all of it for my personality will do more harm than good.
So, in our family vlog we mentioned that I like to get out of the house when I'm sick. Probably not usually the norm for most but I have learned through much experience that being in the same 4 walls for extended periods of time is for me, aaaa...notta so guuda. I used to struggle with significant depression (as if any level of depression is not significant). In short when I was not being who I was created to be and do (or strive to do) what I was created to do it would result in me feeling worthless (shocker) and I ended up almost ending everything. It was a lot that got me there and if one day one of you shows any interest in
hearing more (for the purpose of learning and/or growing) maybe I'll share someday. But what I'll say is those moments lead me to live the way I do today. One of those ways is knowing I gotta get out when I've been in too long. another way is acknowledging in moments what I'm feeling, where that feeling comes from and then walking forward through that feeling in courage, through God's strength.
I embrace the days (about 99% of the time, during that 1% you'll usually find me on the phone with my sister trying to figure out what's really wrong with me and where the root of all my problems lies, lol) I enjoy it, the good the bad, and the super smelly, ugly poo poo days. Why because they are mine. No one else's. God gave me these days. I choose these days and I want to get the most out of them. So now when it's my birthday I don't cower anymore and say "I hate my birthday" to be modest or because I'm embarassed, sure sometimes my birthday will seem uneventful, and yes sometimes i am embarrassed, but hey it's still MY birthday. I didn't jump. I'm not sitting in a dark room. I see blue sky and feel the wind on my face. Every time I feel someone's touch (a feeling I once went months without{devastating, I don't recommend}) embracing my children, kissing my husband, seeing a smile spread across someone's face (especially my kids or husband) or hear the sweet sound of laughter my soul is filled with
the knowledge that this moment, this time in my life is a gift and it's mine for the taking.
I mention birthday specifically because I've noticed an epidemic of birthday haters lately. Myself included. Since I chose to live I have enjoyed my birthday. Last year was a milestone birthday for me. A big one. Yet we were on the tightest budget (watch Our Debt Free Journey vlog) and realized we couldn't have the big party I've been dreaming of and planning for probably a decade (I am a {retired} certified bridal consultant and event planner so you can see how incredibly important for me this was). I shed a tear-literally one. It was my Oscar moment that rivaled Demi Moore in that scene in ghost- and set out to have a small potluck breakfast with just my family. But my mom said she didn't want to be there due to a certain guest's RSVP to come. "WAHHHHH! Why me? It's always myyyy birthday, no one loves me, I hate my birthday" ( this moment for sure fit into the 1%, and yes I was on the phone with my sister) that conversation with her helped me regain sanity, see what's important and remember my love of life and the power we have been given to choose to make memories good or bad. My birthday last year was wonderful, warm, and memorable. It was that because that's what I choose it to be. I believe we have so much untapped power. We also have the ability to take responsible for our own lives. The life you are living now is not because of anyone else.
Life is beautiful if you choose to see the beauty.
Thanks for reading friends!
So, in our family vlog we mentioned that I like to get out of the house when I'm sick. Probably not usually the norm for most but I have learned through much experience that being in the same 4 walls for extended periods of time is for me, aaaa...notta so guuda. I used to struggle with significant depression (as if any level of depression is not significant). In short when I was not being who I was created to be and do (or strive to do) what I was created to do it would result in me feeling worthless (shocker) and I ended up almost ending everything. It was a lot that got me there and if one day one of you shows any interest in
hearing more (for the purpose of learning and/or growing) maybe I'll share someday. But what I'll say is those moments lead me to live the way I do today. One of those ways is knowing I gotta get out when I've been in too long. another way is acknowledging in moments what I'm feeling, where that feeling comes from and then walking forward through that feeling in courage, through God's strength.
I embrace the days (about 99% of the time, during that 1% you'll usually find me on the phone with my sister trying to figure out what's really wrong with me and where the root of all my problems lies, lol) I enjoy it, the good the bad, and the super smelly, ugly poo poo days. Why because they are mine. No one else's. God gave me these days. I choose these days and I want to get the most out of them. So now when it's my birthday I don't cower anymore and say "I hate my birthday" to be modest or because I'm embarassed, sure sometimes my birthday will seem uneventful, and yes sometimes i am embarrassed, but hey it's still MY birthday. I didn't jump. I'm not sitting in a dark room. I see blue sky and feel the wind on my face. Every time I feel someone's touch (a feeling I once went months without{devastating, I don't recommend}) embracing my children, kissing my husband, seeing a smile spread across someone's face (especially my kids or husband) or hear the sweet sound of laughter my soul is filled with
the knowledge that this moment, this time in my life is a gift and it's mine for the taking.
I mention birthday specifically because I've noticed an epidemic of birthday haters lately. Myself included. Since I chose to live I have enjoyed my birthday. Last year was a milestone birthday for me. A big one. Yet we were on the tightest budget (watch Our Debt Free Journey vlog) and realized we couldn't have the big party I've been dreaming of and planning for probably a decade (I am a {retired} certified bridal consultant and event planner so you can see how incredibly important for me this was). I shed a tear-literally one. It was my Oscar moment that rivaled Demi Moore in that scene in ghost- and set out to have a small potluck breakfast with just my family. But my mom said she didn't want to be there due to a certain guest's RSVP to come. "WAHHHHH! Why me? It's always myyyy birthday, no one loves me, I hate my birthday" ( this moment for sure fit into the 1%, and yes I was on the phone with my sister) that conversation with her helped me regain sanity, see what's important and remember my love of life and the power we have been given to choose to make memories good or bad. My birthday last year was wonderful, warm, and memorable. It was that because that's what I choose it to be. I believe we have so much untapped power. We also have the ability to take responsible for our own lives. The life you are living now is not because of anyone else.
Life is beautiful if you choose to see the beauty.
Thanks for reading friends!
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